The Sin of Literature

Seems to me that this Literature business is everywhere nowadays. Can't seem to spit without hitting some sort of text or work or writing that involves it, frankly. I've been noting it popping up in every corner across this great nation of ours; students on the street corners, homeless folk outside Wal-Mart, even kindly Christian old ladies seem to be using Literature on a daily basis.

Seems to me this has become a damn-near epidemic! Why, as an example, just the other day I was walking home from campus and I heard some commotion from a nearby alleyway. I admit my curiosity got the best of me as I peered my head into the darkened alleyway, hoping to inform myself as to the source of such hullabaloo, only to find a group of teens all bent over a copy of Tennyson's Ulysses. Often one doesn't expect the atrocities of reading to be found so near one's own backyard, so to speak. It was a horrifyingly sobering experience that instilled in me a great fear for the safety of those poor misguided teens, and the ability for society, as a whole, to ever completely win the war on Literature.
We all try to avoid it, try to turn a blind eye to the problem, and assume it will right itself or even dissipate entirely under its own weight, but I get the feeling that Literature isn't going away any time soon. It's up to us, as strong Christians, to defeat this menace that is sweeping our poor country of its once-decent condition. Only active involvement in the war on Literate will produce any positive results. If we remain silent, our children can look forward to a lifetime of reading, writing and even literary criticism. It is not only unpatriotic to support such activity, but it is downright despicable and a true sin of omission to ignore this. I urge all of you, as God-fearing Americans, to follow my lead, and above all, stay safe, my fellow Americans, stay safe.